Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize