My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
