I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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