GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
We named our party play list daddy issues
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
