Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
