Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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