Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
