Just mADE A PArabola og urine
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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