good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm at about main and main street
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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