he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"