I think about you every night.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
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FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
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How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.