I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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