Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.

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  (415): I have had sex with more partners than how old he is. http://tfl.nu/ztoc
  Replies (6) Good night (1463) Bad night (702)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.

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  (815): It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism. http://tfl.nu/1u0t
  Replies (14) Good night (2729) Bad night (1043)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.

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  (304): i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me. http://tfl.nu/6um2
  Replies (22) Good night (4191) Bad night (679)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I need new friends

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  (508): Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag (508): I need new friends http://tfl.nu/z8hc
  Replies (83) Good night (1083) Bad night (7808)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  This is sufficient.

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  (412): Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living (1-412): bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug (412): This is sufficient. http://tfl.nu/p15m
  Replies (72) Good night (12543) Bad night (1133)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?

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  (250): How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time? http://tfl.nu/zyvh
  Replies (30) Good night (5588) Bad night (1932)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.

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  (513): im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped. http://tfl.nu/kvpg
  Replies (1) Good night (1136) Bad night (3059)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.

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  (203): Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot. http://tfl.nu/4t9j
  Replies (2) Good night (2072) Bad night (1118)
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  (+04): View more from

  She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.

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  (+04): She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf. http://tfl.nu/hr1t
  Replies (7) Good night (1196) Bad night (919)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.

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  (504): Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted. http://tfl.nu/mn0k
  Replies (14) Good night (2195) Bad night (747)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.

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  (717): He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it. http://tfl.nu/0zar
  Replies (11) Good night (2776) Bad night (1185)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.

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  (253): If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life. http://tfl.nu/jc0t
  Replies (15) Good night (3423) Bad night (903)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.

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  (773): Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days. http://tfl.nu/hblx
  Replies (6) Good night (1150) Bad night (539)
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  (805): View more from California

  YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.

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  (805): YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE. http://tfl.nu/6feq
  Replies (5) Good night (638) Bad night (265)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him

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  (773): his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him http://tfl.nu/maqg
  Replies (13) Good night (284) Bad night (581)

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