Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.

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(586): In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson. http://tfl.nu/nef3

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(310): View more from California

I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.

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(310): I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you. http://tfl.nu/ohi7

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(360): View more from Washington

I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.

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(360): I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high. http://tfl.nu/uw52

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(541): View more from Oregon

What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?

(503): View more from Oregon

3some

(541): View more from Oregon

You're right, stupid question.

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(541): What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms? (503): 3some (541): You're right, stupid question. http://tfl.nu/lx7x

Replies (21) Good night (10147) Bad night (1021)
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(607): View more from New York

We can grow old together and our livers can fail together

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(607): We can grow old together and our livers can fail together http://tfl.nu/ku07

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(778): View more from British Columbia

She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.

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(778): She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done. http://tfl.nu/3wcc

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(706): View more from Georgia

just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.

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(706): just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was. http://tfl.nu/tfbm

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(605): View more from South Dakota

How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?

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(605): How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts? http://tfl.nu/1g9l

Replies (16) Good night (2745) Bad night (586) Order T-Shirt
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(601): View more from Mississippi

It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.

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(601): It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face. http://tfl.nu/wypl

Replies (9) Good night (3013) Bad night (595) Order T-Shirt
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(720): View more from Colorado

Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.

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(720): Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad. http://tfl.nu/6s4w

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.

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(423): I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years. http://tfl.nu/oqic

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(941): View more from Florida

He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.

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(941): He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward. http://tfl.nu/8plk

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(727): View more from Florida

She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.

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(727): She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it. http://tfl.nu/8d3q

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!

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(215): THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT! http://tfl.nu/gopq

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(706): View more from Georgia

My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.

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(706): My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up. http://tfl.nu/hq93

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