Texts From Last Night

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  (353): View more from

  I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number

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  (353): I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number http://tfl.nu/ogfc
  Replies (7) Good night (729) Bad night (4190)
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  (631): View more from New York

  did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??

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  (631): did you know you can prarie-dog a fart?? http://tfl.nu/q6p3
  Replies (12) Good night (883) Bad night (2118)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  She acts like you when your on meds

  (510): View more from California

  She acts like batman?

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  (616): She acts like you when your on meds (510): She acts like batman? http://tfl.nu/zvs9
  Replies (17) Good night (6441) Bad night (844)
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  (631): View more from New York

  what you doin?

  (516): View more from New York

  I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?

  (631): View more from New York

  reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life

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  (631): what you doin? (516): I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you? (631): reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life http://tfl.nu/6c83
  Replies (20) Good night (5577) Bad night (1581)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"

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  (614): Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge" http://tfl.nu/439j
  Replies (20) Good night (3960) Bad night (4559)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?

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  (931): is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl? http://tfl.nu/m6rn
  Replies (20) Good night (1296) Bad night (6166)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat

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  (270): Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat http://tfl.nu/vugk
  Replies (8) Good night (3556) Bad night (1038)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.

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  (847): Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic. (847): It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word. http://tfl.nu/kmzp
  Replies (10) Good night (2802) Bad night (884)
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  (626): View more from California

  Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.

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  (626): Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here. http://tfl.nu/81th
  Replies (3) Good night (2067) Bad night (746)
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  (283): View more from Ohio

  $645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.

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  (283): $645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper. http://tfl.nu/b2q3
  Replies (6) Good night (496) Bad night (1180)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good

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  (519): He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good http://tfl.nu/g2kf
  Replies (3) Good night (1162) Bad night (366)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.

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  (352): a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window. http://tfl.nu/ast5
  Replies (10) Good night (1387) Bad night (362)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.

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  (403): The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it. http://tfl.nu/ligk
  Replies (2) Good night (590) Bad night (671)
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  (585): View more from New York

  You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.

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  (585): You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe. http://tfl.nu/6475
  Replies (2) Good night (737) Bad night (251)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick

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  (541): well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick http://tfl.nu/a9oc
  Replies (3) Good night (647) Bad night (318)

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