He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
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I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
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After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.