I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
