This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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