ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
