I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Acid is not a monday night drug
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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