1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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