maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
