if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
