I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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