Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
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Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
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If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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