so explain again why im purple
no
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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