walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
