i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
