On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I think I died a long time ago.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
