do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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