just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
i think my cat just said my name.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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