she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
