we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Someone came in the potted fern
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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