If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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