I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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