I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
