he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
