Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
