dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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