Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
