I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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