Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
