Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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