anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
