I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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