All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
