I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
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Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
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You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
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