you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
