Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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