Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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