I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
