Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
