Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
