I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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