im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
