Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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