There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize