tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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