dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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