my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
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