so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
