Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
