Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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