yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Can I color on your dick again?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
