i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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