Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
How external is "for external use only"?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
