Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
handjob tips. give me some.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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